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The war at my home

On February 24, I woke up at four in the morning when the alarm on my car went off. “May be thunder,” I thought. I looked out the window, but there was no rain, so I realized that the war had begun.

Everything I read about World War II immediately unfolded before my eyes. I still did not understand the seriousness of the situation when I went out into the yard with a dog, at the same time a military plane flew over my head, so low that I could see the face of the pilot. He seemed surprised to see me, and a second later I heard a powerful explosion. At that time, all life was divided into “before” and “after” the war. “Is everyone alive?” I heard somewhere behind me. The legs became heavy, and all thoughts were confused in a single ball: “war, war, war…”.

It all seemed like a horrible dream, I pinched my hand to wake up, but then it was just beginning…

We spent the first night of the war in the basement of our house  without sleep. All the time military planes were flying over the house, explosions were thundering, because 10 kilometers from my house is the Gostomel airport, which the russian army was one of the first to attack.

It was very scared. I prayed for myself, for those who defended my house and the whole country from the russian invasion that night, because it could be a disaster. And our fighters survived…

In the morning I still didn’t want to leave my house, I cried realizing that I might never see my rose again, my neighbor’s Labrador dog Marcel, my library and my small but brave town of Vorzel in Kyiv region. Only those who had to flee the bombing of their home will understand my feelings: Fear, pain, despair.

For a week  my country has been torn apart by the Russian army. In my native Vorzel, a small resort town near Kyiv, people have been without water, heat and food for a week now, sitting with small children in the basement. Going outside – it’s like death – around the Russian army, shoots without warning. Neighbors managed to get in touch yesterday to say goodbye…

There is a real blockade in Vorzel. If you have read somewhere about the blockade of Leningrad,  know – the same thing is happening now, in front of all of Europe. To die of hunger in your home is the salvation that a Russian soldier brought us?

When I wrote about these events in my native town to my colleague from Moscow, she said that I came up with this: “you shoot at your own homes.” The following will be the text in Russian to reach those who still have a conscience:

-Почему такое огромное количество людей выезжает в стораны Европы, а не в Россию?

-Почему в России отключают независимые СМИ? 

-Почему ни одна страна в мире не вышла с флагом России?

-Неужели вы думаете, что все то огромное количество видео, 

которое присылают ваши друзья и знакомые с разрушенными домами, беременными женщинами в подвалах, это все фейки? Да это же целый Голливуд должен был бы работать, чтобы такое подстроить!

Мы сейчас в огне, в боле, в страдании, но поверьте, мы сейчас с вами связаны как никогда. Уже сейчас многие в России потеряли работу из-за ухода международных компаний, уже сейчас курс доллара улетает в космос, да, это ничто, по сравнению с тем,что переживаем сейчас мы, но из Второй Мировой войны никто не вышел счастливым…

And most importantly it is unclear what exactly the russian government wants? I am a writer, I write books about love,I’m definitely not the “nationalist” that all the TV channels in Russia are shouting at, I just really love my home and my country.

And I am far from big politics. But even I understand that after this total destruction of our land and our people, the degree of hatred for everything Russian is simply outrageous and to put a pro-Russian “tsar” here is a crazy idea.

Then what is the goal? The genocide of the Ukrainian people? But you don’t have to predict the future when you know the past. As the history shows this is a very bad idea. Then what? To distract own people from the economic crisis by threatening  of war? Unfortunately, no one in the world knows the answer to this question. One thing is clear, if russia lays down its arms, the war will end, if Ukraine lays down its arms, the world will end. We are the country that took the brunt of defending Europe. If we fall, European countries will be next, because a predator that has felt human blood will not stop…If you don’t stop it, of course.

Russia wanted to destroy Ukraine, but it turned out to become stronger.  In every city, in every home everyone is fighting for their country: in word, deed and weapon! Glory to Ukraine!

Author: Anna Demidova, Member of the National Union of Writers

Translation: Oksana Lenchenko



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